House Hunting: Just Freaking Out

Lately I have been feeling so impatient. Like, I just want the next thing NOW. Or, at least, I want to know when the next thing will happen.

That's why it's been so hard for me to sit down and write this blog {which I thought would be such a fun project} -- I feel like I can't exist in the present and write about the things that are happening now because I am just. so. anxious. 

We're halfway through January and I wanted to write about the holiday season, our trips to Philly and Florida to see our families, starting another year without shopping, changes to Married & Bright, but mostly I am so super preoccupied with where the heck we're gonna live that there's no brainspace for anything else. 

a pretty photo from our dog park to remind myself how good life is

Here's a list of things I want to either happen tomorrow or at least know when I can expect them:

- when will our psycho downstairs neighbor move out? This crazy lady moved in while we were on our winter vacations and has basically been harassing us about our "excessive noise" every night since we've been back. She comes to our door to complain, bangs her ceiling with a broom, and has even griped about hearing us get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. Please, I have needs, okay?! The management has informed us that she will be moving to a different building but I need that to happen yesterday. I am so creeped out and nervous about even breathing without having to suffer her wrath. 

- To that note I'd like to be living in a house ASAP. We have been house hunting since before we even lived in Tennessee, and, besides beginning to grow weary of the whole process, it seems like our entire lives are hinging on being in a home. Since 90% of our possessions are in storage in LA, it just feels like our lives are on pause without access to both the comforts of home {my clothes, a coffee maker, pots and pans, comfy blankets, photos of our families} and some business-y stuff {baby and bright, my super side project baby clothing line is in some box in the storage unit that I can't seem to locate and so I have to wait until we get everything out here to find it and get that income stream going again}. Having a house would also establish Franklin more as our home base and I wouldn't feel like Alex is cheating on Tennessee every time he travels. It would be space to spread out, have new friends and our families visit, let Bucket run in the backyard and...

- Have a baby. The whole baby thing is just on hold until we find a home and get settled. It's just super weird knowing that that part of life is just around the corner and having it hinge on another huge life decision. I just would love to know when this is all gonna happen so I could just chill about it already. 

- I'd also love some magical answers about my business. I want to know if a made to order or ready to ship model is better. I want to know is buzzfeed is gonna feature me again and what products are most viral worthy. I want to know if I should hire help to make it grow, or if I should keep it just me so it stays small and manageable. I want to know if having a kid will just turn this whole biz upside down and none of these worries will matter anymore.

I'm tailspinning. I can see that. Maybe soon I can look back on this little bit and say, chill out, you're still in your 20s, everything will happen in due time. But right now I'm a greedy little baby who just wants everything to be perfect and done at this exact second. Is that too much to ask?!


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