I get it. You want your dress to be long and have a train during your ceremony. Then afterwards you'd like the length to go away so your guests don't step on your dress and you can dance freely. 

That's where the bustle comes in. 

Here the thing: bustles suck. 

First of all, they never work. The percentage of weddings in which I have to sew the bustle back together because someone stepped on the train, is a hundred. See above. Someone is going to step on your dress, bustle or no.

It should be noted that bustles don't, like, come with your dress. That's right, having a bustle added on will be an additional cost in your alterations package. 

Also, they're ugly. There, I said it! There is no bustle in the world that will flatter your backside and shorten your dress properly. Seriously, a bustle is just a bunch of fabric squished over your ass so that it doesn't drag on the floor. 

Bustles are ridiculous. They are a stupid, antiquated, useless tradition that forces your maid of honor to spend 20 minutes of cocktail hour on the floor fighting with your mom. 

No more bustles. 

Just knock it off. 

Instead, I suggest ditching the train. Have your dress tailored with no lengthy train just have to hike up later. 

If skipping the long train is completely out of the question, consider these options:

1. Get a cathedral length veil. You get that dramatic look you're craving, and then you get to set the headpiece aside after the ceremony. Super easy. 

2. Consider a removable train. Rather than bustling the extra fabric up into wad on your haunches, simply snap off the skirted length and walk away. 

3. Cut your dress. Yep. I said cut it apart. Lauren Santo Domingo did this at her 2008 wedding and it looked like the bomb dot com. Be advised: you'll need to select a rip-stop style fabric, such as tulle, which won't fray as your dancing. And, you might want the designer to be on hand. 

4. Just wear a short dress. No bustle required. (But maybe I'm biased.)

Anyway, I apologize for giving my opinion so freely, but HELLO, I'm trying to make your wedding day be the smoothest ever, and if you can avoid ripping a hole in the butt of your dress, I'd say we're moving in the right direction.

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